Genesis, Chapter 2, v. 19-20, The Old Testament
And God said, “Let us make Man in our own image after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and the birds in the heavens, and the cattle and every crawling thing that crawls upon the earth…And the Lord God formed out of the Earth every beast of the field and every fowl of the heavens, and he brought each to the Man to see what he would call it, and whatever the Man called a living creature, that was its name. And the man gave names to all the cattle and to the fowl of the heavens and to all the beasts of the field.”
From the Book of Horus and Andromedea, Testament of the Divine Dolphin
And the Divine Dolphin said, “Let us make Dolphins in my own image, and let them have dominion over the mackerel, squid, and jellyfish so they may eat them, and let them frolic and dance adorably on the surface of the waters and utter clicks, whistles, shrieks, and rattles. And God formed out of the Earth every fish and every crustacean and every invertebrate and every ocean-dwelling mammal, and He brought each one to Horus and Andromeda, the First Dolphins, and whatever clicks or whistles or shrieks or rattles they called them became their name. And so the First Dolphins gave names to all the fish and all the crustaceans and all the invertebrates and all the aquatic mammals, but the names were just a bunch of clicks and whistles and shrieks and rattles and no one else could understand them and did not care. And as for the land-dwelling creatures, they all left the First Dolphins alone, except for the hairless bipeds who made strange vocalizations but could not click, whistles, shriek, or rattle, so they called him “the thing with cameras.”
From the Bow Dow Dao, Book of Dog
And the Old Dog said, “Let us make Dogs in our own image, and let them have dominion over the backyards and the dog parks. And the Old Dog gave every beast of the field a scent and brought each to Rex, the First Dog, who smelled their assholes and however each living creature smelled, that was its scent. And so the cats were called “Vicious Temperament Poop in Boxes,” and the mice were called “Little Stinkies Who Hide in Walls,” and the hairless bipeds who filled their Dog bowls were called “Good Smelly Parts in the Middle.” But no matter how the beasts of the field smelled, they did not smell as good as the dogs’ own feces and urine, and so they called the feces “Recycling” and they called their urine “The Message Board.” And Rex, the First Dog, barked loudly at all the fowl of the heavens and the beasts of the field until he finally peed and the Old Dog told him “Good boy!” and chucked him behind the ear and let him inside.
From movie, Godzilla: The Secret Origins
And the Lord God looked upon the Earth and said, let there be a hundred-foot lizard-like monster, and let him be called Godzilla, for I am God and "zilla" sounds kind of cool. And the Lord breathed the Breath of Life into Godzilla but he overdid it and endowed Godzilla with blue-ish nuclear breath, which proved to be a problem when he showed every beast of the field and bird of the air and fish of the sea to Godzilla, for instead of naming them, he incinerated them with his nuclear breath. And the Lord created furless bipeds and the furless bipeds built cities and Godzilla walked among the cities and destroyed them along with tens of thousands with his breath and his tail, and so Godzilla came to represent the horrors of nuclear war, and urban renewal. And the Lord said, “I might have screwed up on this one, even worse than stinkbugs,”
From the Testimony of the Divine Cockroach
And the Divine Cockroach said, “Let me make a cockroach in my own image, and let him be named Lester, and the Divine Cockroach brought unto Lester the dinosaurs who lived in the swamps and the inland lakes and the primordial bogs, and asked Lester to name them, which he probably did, but how would we know? For then a great meteor crashed into someplace in Mexico, and annihilated the dinosaurs who dwelled in the swamps, lakes, and bogs, but Lester and the cockroaches survived. And when new birds of the air and fish of the sea and cattle and things that crawl upon the earth arrived, the Divine Cockroach showed Lester all the new animals to see what he would call them, but Lester could not care less and told the Divine Cockroach, “Call them what they wilst, for I shall plague them forevermore regardless.” So, the Divine Cockroach put Lester and the cockroaches in the walls of apartment buildings and in drains and pipes in your basement and in cartons you never unpacked in the attic and gave him dominion over them. And the Divine Cockroach made unto Lester and his offspring a Sacred Covenant, promising that much as the dinosaurs were killed millions of years ago but the cockroaches survived, when the birds and fish and cattle and beast and furless bipeds that walk upon the Earth die out as the dinosaurs did, which shouldn’t take long at this rate, he will find for the cockroaches new beasts to torment and new places to dwell. And the cockroaches said, “That’s cool, but the dinosaurs did get to become birds.”
From Arbor Benedictus, the Holy Book of Trees
And the Lord said, “Let us make Trees in our own image, tall and green and leafy after My likeness, and let them have dominion over all the land. And the Lord created the birds of the air to dwell within the trees and the bees of the hive to help the trees bear fruit and the cattle and every crawling thing upon the Earth so they would consume the fruit and seed of the trees and carry those to the four corners of the earth in their bowels. And the Lord God took every bird and beast and showed them to the First Tree to see what the First Tree would call them, but the First Tree had no idea what the Lord was talking about and did not give the birds and beasts a name, although it did give itself a name, which was “Groot.” The First Tree instead spoke to the other trees in a language of root fungi and low-voltage electric signals and pheromone releases neither the birds nor the beasts nor the Lord, actually, understood, until he saw the movie Avatar. And so the Trees flourished and became numerous until the beast the Lord called Man invented newspapers and furniture and soy beans and fossil fuels, and that was about it for the trees, period, full stop.
From Propogenesis, Holy Scripture of Viruses
And the First Virus said, “Let us take strands of protein, made in our own image, and let them attach themselves to the fish of the sea and the birds in the heavens and the furless bipeds and everything else that crawls upon the earth, and let them commandeer their DNA and dwell therein so that the Viruses shall live. And the First Virus was formed out of the beasts, birds, and fish, and the pig was next to the duck who was next to the bat, and the virus jumped from one to the other and attached itself to all the beasts and all the fowl and became contagious, and delivered songs of praise to the First Virus while the animals it infected died. And when the Virus infected an animal it asked “What is this thing?,” but since the Virus could not see or smell or speak, it gave names to the creatures it infected according to their circumstances, including “Immunologically Deficient,” “Compromised Resistance,” "Drinks Bleach," and “Likes Yummy Bat.” And then the virus came to America but not everybody cared so the virus went to the motorcycle rallies and the Supreme Court nomination ceremonies and the Superbowl celebrations and some of the beasts called the virus “Chinese Flu” but the virus did not pay attention because it did not speak English, although even if it understood what it was being called it would have been offended, because even a simple strand of protein knows racism when it hears it.